Uneventful is nice
by MLaw
Summary: Napoleon and his crew of one sail along the coast for a nice relaxing trip, or so they think. Solo Series- pre saga


Napoleon sailed on his yacht the Pursang into the harbor of this sleepy Maine town. It was where they'd anchor for the night, maybe go into town the next day for a little shopping.

The image of a lazy harbor at sunset, with a white church steeple up on a hill, quaint shops and Victorian homes painted a welcoming picture. The water was so tranquil that it was like a mirror. Yet perhaps it was the calm before the storm, or so that's what Solo'd gut told him as he bedded down for the night.

Up until now it had been a perfect trip up along the coast with his first mate and only crew member, April Dancer. It had been a while since they'd gotten to spend some quality time together, alone.

Sometimes it wasn't always about the sex; they had plenty of that in their middle of the day rendezvous, or late night ones for that matter. Right now both of them needed to wind down from a battery of grueling assignments, each with their respective partners.

It was good just to sit and chat, and act like normal human was at times a good thing even for two highly trained UNCLE agents.

Kuryakin and Slate were off on their own somewhere in Europe hunting down a mad scientist...or was it a businessman who'd gone bad? Napoleon couldn't remember; though his memory wasn't like Illya's, he still had a mind like a steel trap. Right now the steel trap was feeling a bit rusty.

Not being able to recall that bothered him and he sighed as he rolled over in his bunk, unwilling to open his eyes. Napoleon had a dream during the night. It was one of those he couldn't recall the details, but still it left him with an uneasy feeling that something was going to happen.

April appeared out of nowhere, carrying a mug of strong black coffee. She sat on the edge of his bunk dressed a bright yellow top and shorts. She looked like a walking ray of sunshine.

"Come on darling, wakie wakie."

"Good morning," he gratefully accepted it as he leaned up on his elbow.

"Napoleon something's rather odd on shore. I noticed it when I went on deck to have my cup to get some fresh air."

He sat up and took notice at that word 'odd'. April had an instinct about her, one that Solo trusted implicitly, the way he did with Illya...and Mark too.

"Odd in what way?"

"Well, all the lights went on throughout the town all at the same time and people came out. They were everywhere."

"So what's odd about that. People start early, there's fisherman who need to …"

"No no. These people looked like they were still in their night clothes and they were walking along like.. _.zombies._ It was as if they were in some sort of trance."

"And were they moaning about needing brains?" He chuckled.

"Napoleon I'm serious. Something's going on out there. They were all going into one big building."

He canted his head to one side. "Time to go take a look then."

Solo pulled a pair of binoculars and took a peek as soon as he got on deck. She was right, people were ambling along in their pyjamas like the 'night of the living dead,' though they didn't look dead or sick, just dazed.

Napoleon quickly dressed and together they boarded the Pursang's black rubber dinghy and motored to the dock. By the time they tied off and climbed out, everyone had gone inside the building.

It was eerily quiet, too quiet. There wasn't a sound except for a periodic plop in the calm water as a fish surfaced to feed.

The agents instinctively drew their weapons as they approached the building, and as they crept up to one of the windows they saw it.

People indeed dressed in their bedclothes were shuffling to and fro, carrying cardboard boxes, sealing and stacking them. They were obviously preparing them for shipment. Back and forth, moving mindlessly, they continued with their tasks; young and old alike. April's description of zombies was spot on.

The darkness was finally giving way to morning and without warning, there was the soft ding-ding-ding of a bell, the kind you hear at a theatre to signal intermission had concluded.

The people stood straight, their arms hanging at their sides and lining up, they moved towards the door.

The agents ducked around a corner and watched as everyone shuffled off, returning to their homes with the rising of the sun. Sunrise the agents guessed was quitting time. Once the operation appeared to be empty, Napoleon and April crept inside to check it out.

She stood guard while he sliced open a sealed box; inside it were glass vials carefully packed in straw. Napoleon held one up, examining it, it contained a putrid looking green liquid.

"April, I think we need to contact our field office in Portland and get one of these things to them to be analyzed." When she didn't respond, he looked up.

A man dressed in a black turtleneck and black pants had a grip on her, his hand covering her mouth, and a gun to her temple.

"You're not doing anything buddy. Now put down the vial as well as your gun. Hands on your head if you please?" the guard said.

What possessed Napoleon to do it; he had no idea. He put down the vial all right, but tossed it at the man. The vial shattered on the floor and the guard shoved Dancer aside as he was enveloped in a green mist that had formed. Standing motionless; his his hands dropped to his sides, and his eyes went blank. He now looked like the others.

Napoleon moved to April's side. "Are you all right?"

She was sitting there, staring out with vacant eyes and was motionless as well.

Solo cursed."April honey, get up. We have to go."

Napoleon watched her stand, but there was no recognition in her eyes. She too remained motionless. Grabbing another vile from the box and shoving it into his pocket, he held out his hand to her.

He took a chance and gave her a command."April, come with me."

She took his hand but moved like one of the zombies they'd seen. Too slow for his taste as they needed to get out of there and fast before someone else showed up. He scooped April up in his arms and carried her back to the dock and the awaiting dinghy.

Once onboard the Pursang, Napoleon pulled his communicator and contacted Waverly, who inturn alerted the Portland office. They were told to expect the Pursang as Napoleon would sail up the coast and arrive within forty-five minutes at the most.

By the time he reached the next harbor April had returned to herself and she had absolutely no recollection of what had happened.

Once the substance was analyzed it was as Napoleon suspected, some sort of mind-controlling chemical. Though there was no indication as of yet that it was T.H.R.U.S.H. but the odds were they'd accidentally stumbled upon yet another feathered satrapy.

Within another hour a team of U.N.C.L.E. agents swarmed on the town telling the residents there was a major gas leak and they had to evacuate immediately. Once the locals were safely away, the agents removed all of the of chemicals.

Finally several small explosive devices were rigged and a controlled implosion of the building was performed….much to the dismay of the locals, who were at last permitted to bring out their fire brigade to help extinguish the smoldering wreckage.

The destruction was of course was put off to the gas leak, and the townsfolk went on about their day. They were all quite tired, and couldn't understand the malaise that had been affecting them all. In time they'd catch up on their lost sleep as the effects of the drug dissipated.

The building exploding was about the most exciting thing that had happened in this sleepy Maine town, and the event was the headline in the local Gazette, that and the record Bluefin Tuna caught by Ed Grimley and news about the upcoming Shad Festival.

It wasn't a very large newspaper, and Napoleon read it as the local butcher wrapped up a couple of pollack he'd just cleaned for his 'out of town' customer. It was back to vacation, though what had happened here was just a minor blip on the radar for the two agents. It was perhaps the power of fate that put them at the right place at the right time by sheer accident.

Napoleon and April had remained anchored there for a few days, just to watch the towns folk for any after effects of the drug, but all was well. Life had returned to this sleepy little fishing town.

The agents laid in some more supplies from the general store for their lazy return trip to New York and they took their time sailing back. Preparing their candlelight dinners, drinking champagne, laughing, talking and of course making love.

Once back Napoleon and April were well rested and reunited with their partners.

"So how was your vacation?" Illya asked as he sat with Solo at their usual table in the Commissary.

"It was great, just what the doctor ordered. A nice uneventful sail to Maine and back," Napoleon smiled. "How was your assignment?"

"It was nothing but a red herring. There was no one to be rescued. Mark and I ended up Rome for a few days off and that was it. Uneventful is a nice for a change for once," Illya sipped his tea.

"It most certainly is," Napoleon winked.


End file.
